I am going through the process of de-cluttering.  I keep a clean, organized apartment; however, I also have a knack for holding on to things that no longer serve me.  Be it clothing, shoes, even old bill statements.  I am a big fan of not holding on to things that you feel inhibit your growth.  Which brings me to my latest at home project, clearing out the clutter.  Working in the retail industry for the last, well never mind.  Suffice to say working around designer everything,  makes you think $500 for shoes is normal.  That was the way of life for me for far too long.

Now I am not a hoarder by any means.  My tiny studio apartment doesn't lend itself to being a hoarder.  My sense of clutter is in the form of old shoes, handbags, scarves, basically the things that I haven't looked at in a very long time, much less worn.  I may work around luxury goods, but I certainly don't need them in my home.  Of course there is the mind clutter that I think can go hand in hand with the physical clutter.  And let me state right here, I am a very "a place for everything, and everything in its place" kind of girl. So this means identifying what I want to get rid of and then going to that place in the closet and pulling it off the shelf.

I have gone through so many changes over the last year and a half and going through some of these items has made me realize the attachment is more to a period in my life, a life I no longer live.  I don't care about the designer duds like I once did.  I don't need the latest handbag, or the designer cold weather scarf to make me happy. They are not me.  I have many friends who love these things and I have no problem with that, it just isn't what I am about anymore.  Maybe it is also just my attempt at a more zen life.  Or maybe it is just I don't have the room anymore.

It is amazing to me the amount of attachment a physical item can hold for you.  I can look at a pair of shoes, or a handbag and remember where I bought it, what I wore it with, and even possibly what was going on in my life at the time.  But in letting go of the past I need to not only let go of the item, but the memory related to it.  I will keep the memories but let go of the physical object.  These items no longer fit my lifestyle.  There is nothing wrong with that.  But would it be bad or ridiculous to say I wish I had all that money back? Hindsight really is 20/20.  And the funny thing is, most of the items haven't been worn enough to justify the initial purchase.  At least not when I really want a food processor, or a high speed blender.  Yes, it is safe to say my needs have changed.

My needs are much more simple now.  I don't need the things that used to make me happy, I find my happiness in so many other ways.  And let's face it, the more I enjoy this vegan diet, it is bound to become a vegan lifestyle.  Yes, I have looked at vegan shoes and handbags and some are even cute.  I have no problem wearing canvas shoes, carry a pleather bag.  I recently saw a designer handbag that is vegan.  But the fact is I have changed and so have my taste.  It is just a natural progression.

The change happened almost organically (pun intended).  One change led to others.  Life changes and we have to roll with it. Some will do it in designer clothes and some will do it with a high speed blender in vegan shoes.  So I will continue to "clean out" the items that no longer have a place in my life.  I will make way for newness. I would like to think I have learned from my past mistakes.  For instance, why would I buy high heels just to stand on a marble floor all day? I value my feet too much for that.  But I won't deny they do look great on.  Kudos to the millions of women that do that, I am not one of them.   

So I will get busy on this de-clutter project.  I will reminisce about  each and every shoe, each and every handbag.  I will find nostalgia for a life once lived.  I will remember the good times.  And I will remember that every item had value once.  Of course, I will also remember the eventual toll it took on my bank account and  with a little luck I will not have to "clean out" in another few years from the clutter I will accumulate......again.