I can't believe it has been a month since I have posted.  I have been so busy and writing seemed to be one of the things on the bottom of the list.  And while it probably should have been at the top, it never crossed my mind.  So here I am, back in Arizona.  It was a decision a long time coming and after it was made, there was no turning back. Truth be told, it isn't that I want to be back in San Francisco, I just find the customs of suburban life a bit, well, different.

I have not been here a week and I am already feeling the shift in lifestyle.  For me it is palpable, to others it is not that big of a deal.  Easy to say when you aren't the one whose life took a sharp turn at the corner of stucco houses and pick-up trucks.  There is a different pace to the suburbs that I haven't experienced in a long time. Fourteen years to be exact.  But the time came for me to decide what was important to me, and that was family.  And while the decision was entirely my own, it doesn't come without its challenges.

One of those challenges is, I am living with my parents temporarily.  I am discovering rather quickly that it isn't really a challenge for them so much as it is for me.  They go with the flow.  Are these the same parents I had growing up?  I can't be sure.  They definitely have their own routine.  What I have noticed is that I am playing the role of younger daughter versus adult daughter.  I think I am putting more pressure on myself to make sure everyone is comfortable.  I recently left the house to come and write.  I told them where I would be and that I wouldn't be home for dinner.  They chuckled, as if to say, it is fine.  The underlying tone being, do what you want, you don't have to tell us what you are doing all the time.  Wait, when did that shift take place?  Wasn't it always, while you under my roof you will do what I say?  Who are these people, and when did they become so cool?  Or were they always cool and I just thought I was cooler?

But it wasn't but twenty some years ago that I did have to tell them my comings and goings.  So that is it, I am transporting myself back plus twenty years to a time when I was a financially challenged and had to move home.  This isn't really the case now.  I am living with them until my home is ready for me to move into.  I have no rules, unless you count the no men staying over, a joke with my Dad but nonetheless, that would never happen.  I have no curfew, I buy my own groceries, I have a car.  The reality is, I, and the contents of my previous apartment are taking up residence in my parents home.  As a result I believe I owe them the respect they deserve, not only as parents, but parents changing their lifestyle to accommodate me.

Life is about changes.  I may no longer have to share the comings and goings of my daily life with my parents. I may not have to be in at a certain hour.  But I do feel the need to show them the same courtesies they have shown me.  I suppose it is what a parent does, in most cases.  If you need them, they are there.  They accommodate the amount of apartment furniture and boxes that have filled their open floor living room/dining room.  They have accepted that the guest bathroom is now a constant mess.  Yes, I have to say my parents have welcomed me home with open arms.  I wonder if it is a matter of time before they do tell me to clean my messy room.  After all, a parent can probably only take so much......